Words Left Unspoken

It's been 25 years since I last saw your face. I wish I could say it was the last time I heard your voice, but, it's not. I can't count how many times in my life I've heard you call me a liar. You legt without so much as a goodbye that day and you never looked back. Some "Aunt" you were. I was 9 years old, but I saw where your loyalty lied.

It's been 25 years and I didn't deserve the way you treated me. I was a CHILD. I'm sure I could call up an aunt, get your number and confront you about it; but I already know it won't change the way you think. It won't change the way you feel. It won't change the past. What's done is done. You burned that bridge a long time ago.

It's been 25 years and I still hear things about you. I still have so many questions for you. Why do you care so GD much about MY life? MY LIFE that you spent 9 years manipulating. MY LIFE that you walked out of and never looked back at.

23 years had gone by and your main concern was MY LIFE. Did I know who my DAD is? Did I know he DIED in 2016 of DRUG OVERDOSE? That's what you told my family. You never cared about MY life. You only care about your secret agenda. My God what IS your secret agenda?! It's been 25 years and I still can't figure it out.

Let me set the record straight for you.

That man you call my dad? He pushed my mother down the stairs when she was pregnant with me. That man you call my dad? He tried to kill my brother.

That man you call my dad? He beat my sisters AND my mother.

That man you call my dad? He found me at a carnival when I was 4 and stared at me for so long I had nightmares well into adulthood.

That man you call my dad? He was an addict.

That man you call my dad? He died from Lung Fibrosis, not an overdose. (Death certificates are public record. )

It's been 25 years and you're STILL MAD that I never met him. You STILL blame my mom but in reality it was MY choice. I had a dad already. I didn't need another one. I had a dad that LOVED me a dad that CHOSE me. A dad that RAISED me with morals and standards. A dad that made many mistakes, is far from perfect but is mine.

It's been 25 years and I'm breaking free from you. From your manipulation. From your lies. From your abuse. I'm not 9 years old anymore. I'm not a child you can lie to and manipulate. I'm not your puppet on a string.

My only regret is that you won't hear this from me,but, I hope one day you read these words.

"I wanna say I wish that you never left, oh but instead I only wish you the best." -Lewis Capaldi